Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thursday I had to go to the hospital for the pre-admission blood work and all the questions of this and that. They took 5 viles of blood and after that I had to get an EKG because I am a smoker. That in itself was 2 and 1/2 hours long.
Friday I get a call saying I need to come back to the hospital to get the blood work taken all over again because there was blood clots in the tubes. WTF!!!! She said this was no one's fault and it happens frequently... Hmm I doubt that and I blame the nurse for this one. She didn't spin it right or something.
Friday night was my candle party. We had a blast. We went through all the candles that were made which was 38 different ones and than the ones in the bottles which was like 50, LOL. I am so immuned to these scents so Ismell them differently I think, LOL. It was a success considering there was only 8 girls there but we had a blast with the wine, LOL., I got home at 2:30 a.m. still feeling that buzz feeling, LOL
Saturday Jonny's therapist came for 2 hours and talked to me about moving Jonny out of the school district possibly if they cannot come up with something to help this child and how they can control him. This is their job, they went to college on this so they of all people should know how to control an autistic child. It pisses me off!!!
Today is Sunday and I am hoping to get to the stores and get some more Christmas gifts for the kids and some outside lights. I have like 6 bushes I want lights in so I must do this but I am not sure if Joe has band so it all depends on that. I cannot take Jonny to the store when it it Christmas time, he is deathly afraid of the Christmas animations and thins so him going with me in nearly impossible. Maybe I can take him and bribe with him with McDonald's Chicken nuggets and fries, LOL
I snowed last night, flurries were just slowly coming down. It looks so pretty but I hate the shit! It makes it feel like Christmas but i still hate it, LOL. I hate the cold weather too, it hurts the bones in my legs.
Ok.. I think that is it for now. I might be back later and read more blogs, I still need to wake up here a bt, LOL
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I went shopping as I said in my previous post about Black Friday. I did buy Alyssa the coat she wanted. I couldn't resist. It was an $80 coat on sale for $40. Come on now, you can't beat that! It is those coats the kids wear with the fur around the hood and fur inside and it comes just to waist line. All black. I loved it! If I had the extra money I would have gotten myself one! Anyway, with that being said I also got her 2 pairs of boots one pair was $20 and the 2nd pair was $10, how can u resist that too? These are boots she wanted! Than I went into Aeropostal and bought her a t-shirt for $10. Holy shit now, $80.00 on 4 things she wanted for Christmas, I was proud of myself that I got great bargains.
I get home and show my parents and Joe what I got. My Mom turns around to me and says I can't believe you went and bought her that coat! She has one in the closet that she refuses to wear. Hmm exactly! I said I got her what she wanted for Christmas. Yea, this is my money from my candles but atleast I started to shop since this year is going to be tightwith Joe not getting paid yet. Better get them while they are on sale right!?!?!
Saturday morning, early afternoon my Mother decides to say to me, "I have some things I want to say to you but I don't know how to go about it. I said Like what Mom? Than she went off saying I should have never bought the jacket for her. Than it was, I never talk to her. What? Well when I lived upstate we would be on the phone for like 2 hours rambling about this and that. I said well Mom, you live here now, you see what is going on, I tell everyone how Jon does in school, their report cards and what not, what is there to say to you. You live here, you see it all. Conversations are limited now because you live here and see and hear everything. I live in a bubble she says. I go around cleaning, doing what I need to do and don't say anything to anyone. I say good morning and I kiss them both goodnight and tell them I love them. What the hell more do you want from me? She had me so upset I was crying. Why can't you just leave me alone I said. I don't bother anyone and when it comes to my kids, they are mine, butt out! You tell Alyssa she is grounded the next day and when the next day comes you let her go. Well I am sorry, it was something stupid and it is my kid anyway, why does this bother you?
The festivities of Christmas is very hard but I love it at the same time. My brother's death anniversary is Dec 12th and my father is law is not here either, that is still fresh. My son Jonathonbothers me becuse Santa is coming and he has no clue as to who Santa is, ask for things he wants, look forward to gifts under the tree, the movies on tv that we wtch. All this gets to me and I tend to want to be alone and be left alone. My son't sutism in itlsef depresses me so bad. I know there is nothing I can do about it but it depresses me so bad, espceically when it is this time of year. Some people can take it better than others. My husband Joe takes this all better than I do. Yea it bothers him to pieces too but he handles it beter than me.
So now because I bought my dughter a jacket for Christmas I am getting ignored which honestly I would rather it be that way anyway, friction is just rediculous and her not talking to me is like her bein a hypacrit isn't it? I don't know, maybe it me but joe stayed upstairs and listened to the whole thing of my Mom yelling at me and me screaming at her and I even yelled at my Dad too. I am sick and tired of people getting on me when I do nothing wrong. My Mother in law came over to see what was goin on, she thought maybe Joe and I were fighting. She went upstairs to Joe and they both listened to both my parent bash me for shopping and living in the bubble I supposably live in.
Freaking family screws me over more than my friends do and to me that is horrible. I trust noone in my family except one Uncke andone Aunt, that is it! I seriously have noone to talk to about my problems or my depression besides my mother in law who nderstands how I feel and comforts me it the way of me feeling like I am not going crazy, that thisis normal for me to feel this way and it is ok to just do what I want and not talk to anyone if I don't want to. It is not like I am inoring them, there is ust nothin to talk about because we all live here in the same house.
Alyssa will try and do anything she can to get out of the house. She cannot stand my Mother. She said she loved her when we would go visit them upstate but now that they live with us she said her Grandmother is another person she don't like. So she will try and sleep over her friends house as often as possible and I can't blame her really. My Mom is cool when she wants to be but she is so old school it is not funny. So since yesterday after this arguement over a f*ucking jacket and me being a bubble I have been ignored! How nice huh!!!
Joe says she likes to cause drama and I am starting to believe this myself. I just don't kno wwhat to do expcept pray that thwir inlaw suite gets up FAST!
Friday, November 28, 2008
I am the EVERY YEAR BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPER and this would have been this first year I didn't go so I couldn't break the tradition and it was good to get out of the house for while by myself and no kids, just me! Now I kinda regret walking so much because my ovary feels like it is going to explode and my left kidney is killing me. I am not the pill popper so I will cope with the pain until I can't walk than I will take motrin or something for the pain but by that time I take my night medications and I am out for the count anyway!
Should I tell you how packed the malls were, Walmart, Toys R Us, AC Moore, Target, and Michael's were?!?!? It was wall to wall people and very rude people. I think if I was not on these phycho meds I would have flipped a lid on some people but since I was calm, I took it like a lady and waited in line while I hear people talk about how this sister was a bitch last night after dinner, how Uncle Same ate the whole pie and didn't save any for anyone and why the hell didn't Kathy bring anything, she comes to eat for Thanksgiving and didn't bring a damn thing. I was standing there listening to every one's drama thinking.....My dinner was good and I had no drama to talk about for once, LMAO. But it was very humorous to listen to other people bitch and moan about their own famiy members, hehe
Tomorrow is Saturday and I have nothing planned but to make some cookies and candles. The candle party is this Friday so I have a few days to make them. I am really craving some raw cookie dough so in the midst of making choc chip cookies I will eat it raw while no one is looking!!
I hope you all had a good holiday! I am thankful I have such good friends online =)
I love you guys!!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
It was just my family that lives with me, all 8 of us and than Alyssa's friend ate over too because her family didn't do Thanksgiving (why I don't know). So 9 of us ate together except Jonny and Joey ate grill cheese. I really wish they would atleast try the food but... what can ya do right. This foods program starts with Joey in January now and I am sticking to it too. Whatever they say I am doing and I am not giving in. Jonny is alittle more difficult to change but he is offered this organic snack everyday, hey.. it's a start!!
I hope you all had a wonderful day. I know it is like 8:00 p.m. now and I am exhausted. I manage to take a 2 hour nap while the turkey was cooking but I still felt so tired. I don't know why I am always so tired, I hate it! I hate feeling this tired everyday, it's horrible. Hopefully when the surgery is over I won't be so tired. I think all the pains I have everyday bring me down and make me feel this tired, I truly believe that. Running around after kids and cleaning up after them ever 5 mins don't help either =(
Jonny decided to play with Squirt again tonight (our turtle) and have water everywhere once again. This time I was not sleeping, we were all playing Yatzee and next thing you know we all heard this Swoosh sound. There was water everywhere yet again. So now that everyone was here playing a game and my son did this, am I bad mother for this? If you don't know what I am talking about, read the post I have saying I am a bad parent!
Ok... I am for the night!
Hope you all had a wonderful day!
Love and Hugs,
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tomorrow Joe and I have to go to the store and get a few things for Thanksgiving dinner. I need 2 stalks of celery, bread, gravy and dinner rolls. I have everything else. Since my parents live with me I don't have to invite them for dinner and since my mother in law lives here too, noone has to drive anywhere. I THINK my brother in law and sister in law an their 2 kids are coming. We usually have them over every year for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is always nice, it is the start of the festivities of Christmas and I love it! I love the music, the kids getting excited for Christmas and Santa. I want to start putting up the lights around the house soon before it gets even colder than what it is now. Darn it is like in the 30's and 40's and winter is not even here yet. I think this winter is going to be a bad one like 93' and 95'.
Jonny has an appt with a child Phychologist so I am hoping they will change his medicines and help us with the meltdowns. I feel so bad. He was just sitting here tonight on the couch watching tv and out of nowhere the tears slowly went down his cheeks. All he said was "No Cry".I said, that's right Honey, no cry! He does this from time to time for no reason. I think he is at the age now where he knows he has a problem and wants to be like the other kids.I truely believe this and not being able to talk I know is a HUGE factor of his meltdowns. I cry all th time over Jonny. It saddens me so much to see him like this. I want to help him so bad but there is nothing more I can do but what we are doing now. I am starting to buy organic foods for him, he won't touch them yet but if I offer it everyday he might just one day pick it up and try it if there is nothing else for him to eat!
Well.... I hope everyone has a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving! I am going to make home made choc chip cookies, cakes and things like that. the junk never lasts long here with Joe and Alyssa and my Dad... they love their junk food. I do too but I need to be in the mood for it.
Speakig of foods... when I went to the Dr's I weighed in at 111. YAY for me. I have been trying to gain some wight for like forever now. I stopped at Vernae's house the other day to drop off a candle order for her Mom's friend and Vernae noticed right away I gained some weight. I was happy when she said that! I am so sick and tired of hearing people say you are too skinny and you need to gain some weight. You know what I feel like saying?!?! Yea you know what I am thinking! Skinny is different than thin and thin is what I am, not skinny. The weight I seem to be gaining is going to the thighs and my butt. It usually goes to the boobs (that are hardly there, hehe) but this time it is going to the thighs and butt!
Bridgete, you go girl! I am so proud of you and your weight loss! Keep up the great work!! No matter how much weight you lose, you will always be beautiful to me!!
Ok.. enough of me tonight. If I don't get to write tomorrow
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Back in 96 when I gave birth to Alyssa I bled for 18 momths straight. The Dr's could not figure out why I was bleeding and tried everything in the world to stop the bleeding from shots, birth control pill every 4 hours to a surgery. After the 18 months it stopped out of no where and I thought I was prego but I wasn't. It just stopped on it's own.
In 1999 I got prego with Joey and everything was peachy keen after they injected me with drugs to help me get pregnant. No bleeding after the birth and everything was good besides the Endometriosis getting worst and had numerous surgeries and shots (Lupron).
Back in 2001 I got pregnant with Jonny with no help by the Dr's and after the birth in May I bled straight until Valentine's day of 2002. That is the day I had my hysterecomy. My original Dr made me go to this other Dr because he could not perform surgies anymore because of the insurance but explained to the new Dr to do a scope on me and clean out the Endometriosis than a few weeks later do the hystrecomy. Well this Dr didn't see fit to do all this and just went forward to the hysterecomy and I hemridged and almost died. I was in the hospital for 12 days in ICU. Now remember this is February ok. Well in May of 2008, a few months later I was in DIRE pain and the Dr told me it was all in my head. He finally gave in and did surgery and found Endometriosis all over and when I mean all over I mean all over. I still have the ovaries but everything else is gone in me. Well the Endometriosis decided to climb on my spine, push my left kidney against my back, push on my bowels and bladder and down my thighs. This Dr showed me the pictures he took while he was in there and said I need to have a LONG ASS surgery to get rid of the Endometriosis and that it will take about 10 hours to do. Well it was scheduled and I never showed up. They called at 6:00 am asking where I was on the answering machine. I never picked up or called back. I was SCARED as hell ever since what happened with the hysterectomy.
I FINALLY go to my OBGYN today because the pains are so bad I can't take it no more. Just for me to go pee I actually have to push like you would to have a baby. My bowels... hahaha... I have IBS from the Endo so it is constipation one day or the shits the next.
Sex......... That is here and there with tears from pain. It sucks. Everyday I am in dire pain but just kept dealing with it as much as I could up until a few days ago when I said I cannot do this anymore. I am not a pill popper, I hate to even take my Phycho meds but I know I need them to keep me sane. I don't even take tylenol for pains, I refuse to take anything, especially narcotics.
My Dr today did the whole Pap test and all. He said he could feel the swelling on the vaginal wall. No wonder it hurts you Theresa he says, it is so swollen in there from the Endometriosis. "Theresa Honey, I know why you have been holding out on the surgery but we need to do this like NOW, you have children that need you and the longer you wait, the worst your organs are getting". "We are doing blood work to see if you have a blood disorder from when I gave birth bleeding so much and from the hysterectomy. I also have to go and get a bone denstity test done. Lupron shots are basically putting a woman into menopause and you are technically only supposed to be on Lupron shots like 3 times and I have been on them like 7 times to control the Endometriois because I had no other options besides surgeries thatI always refused =( Now I regret it.
Bone denstity test and ultra sound of the pelvic area is Dec 10th and after that my surgery will be scheduled. I am SCARED shitless. i am so serious I am really afraid to die. I almost died whe I had the hysterectomy because of the hemridging and them opening me back up 12 hours later. It was bad plus blood transfusions on top of it.
I AM SCARED to do this surgery.
Dr says he is going in with the scope, going to look around and see how bad it is and get out what he can. What he can't get out is the major surgery with the specialists there that can get the kidney to straighten out with a stent and all. I am so scared! I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life when it comes to surgeries, I've had so many but just the last one really put a damper on my feeling towards surgeries now. If all goes well, I can come home that day if the surgery is not major. If it turns out to be a major surgery where all the Dr's can be available I will be there for a few days!
I am scared guys. What if I die? What would my kids do without me? What if the same thing happens from when I had my hysterectomy? My Dr had 2 Assistants with him that are going through their internship. The one guy looked at me and said you are a living Endometriosis nightmare. My Dr turned around and said I have never ever ever seen this happen before and yes, Theresa is in the medical research book for Endometriosis.
I want to cry but it won't come out. I tell Joe I am so scared and all he says is, you'll be fine. What else should I expect? Nothing. Nothing at all really. I just need him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok and I will come home that day and be in no more pain!
The surgery date is unknown at this time, they are waiting for the blood work to come back first and my bone denstity test and pelvic ultra sound first. I'll keep you guys posted on when it is so you know I am not ignoring you guys when i am not online writing you on here and Myspace!
How can the endometriosis grow when I don't get a period? All I have is ovaries and the right one is the size of a grape, non functionable so how is the Endo getting worst and growing with no period I asked.
The ovaries are still in there which produce hormones and endometriosis grows from the hormones and atttaches where it can and apparently from the pictures my Dr got from May of 2008, it is ALL OVER. Well tjat explains why my back hurts all day long, it's on my spine. That explains why I have to push just to pee. That explains why i cannot have sexual intercourse with my husband without tears or hurry up Joe cause it hurts!
Just do me a favor guys and pray if you pray. If you don't pray.. think of me!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thurs night I went to the Phycho Dr. told him I have really bad mood swings, like a flick of a switch still and I am god aweful tired all day long. I could sleep for 12 hours and still want to sleep for another 8 and STILL be tired. My blood pressure was 100/62. Well that could be why you have dizsy spells he tells me, I was complaining of dizzy spells all the time and being tired. He took blood work and urine so we'll see how that goes.
Anyway here is the medicines I am on.
Klonopin twice daily (once in the morning and one at bedtime) 1mg
Seroquel 200 mg at bedtime (which he up'd for the mood swings) it was 100 mg
Remron 30 mg at bedtime
Wellbutrin 100 mg
Women's One A Day
My Phycho Dr told me that being on Wellbutrin is in the same family as the remron and Klonopin and Seroquel and told me the Dr had no idea what he was talking about, LOL
Nice family Dr I have huh!
The whole idea of the Wellbutrin is help me quit smoking. The first month won't take affect because it usually takes 3-4 weeks to kick in but by the 2nd month I should not be smoking as much and by the 3rd month I should be abl to quit and chew some gum or suck on candy.
I read all about these drugs I am on and Jesus good Lord, I seem like I am a huge Phycho path who needs to be put away, LOL The side affecrs are scarey in itself and damaging to kidney's and all. What the hell! I already have problems with my kidneys and all from the Endometriosis on my bladder,kidneys, bowels and spine.
I am going to die a young woman, I just know it!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I went to Alyssa and Joey's conferences. They both did GREAT and I was surprised actually. I thought Alyssa was going to be grounded and Joey as well but they both shocked me and I was stoked to see the good report cards!! YAY Lys and Joey. Joey even got an award for perfect attendance!
I am in the middle of making more candles for the upcoming candle party Dec 5th which I am so stoked about. I will post pictures when I get them all done. Joe's cousin has 2 websites and said i can join off her websites with my own domain for $10 a year and her friend is going to help me make my website! I am so excited!!!
So things here with Jonny have been pretty bad! His meltdowns are terrible and I had to pick him up from school yesterday because it was that bad! I just don't know what to do anymore. Jonny See's the Child's Phycho (lol) Dr Dec 3rd so I am looking forward to that! This sucks! Today was a bad day for him which makes me a wreck and in a bad mood because nothing I want to do with him makes him happy when he is like this. I tried to give him herbal tea, NO WAY! He threw it! I tried to give him organic snacks and looks at me like I am crazy and smells it and says NO NO NO!
It's getting late and I took my medicines so I will write more tomorrow.
Love you guys =)
Friday, November 21, 2008
When I spoke to Joe about all this he had no idea what the hell I was talking about with the sex talk and all. I can tell when he lying and when he isn't. I told him what happened with that girl being me and I was trying to catch you in the act and here I thought I was until I found you snoring inbed after I got my last msg and I knw it was not you so I called Kile.
Joe was laughing. He also showed me messages he got from other girls and he showed me the sent messages back saying thanks for the compliment of you thinking I am hot but I am married to a bautiful girl for 14 years now and I am not about to jeapordize my marriage over someone over the net or anywhere else.
I felt safe after I seen that. he also wrote Jenny and told her he was married and that they can say hi and how are you thing but that was it. I was surprised to see it and this was days ago, before Michelle even came in to play.
Ok so there we are. Here I am thinking I am getting Joe, having the proof and it was not even Joe. I told Joe you have to understand where I am coming from because u have screwed around on me for a long time now.
Don't I feel like an ass!!!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I don't know what to do. Joe says they are just words over the net. I said those words go further and further and it is ALWAYS her you talk to so there has to be a connection somewhere with you 2. He denies it of course but every time I delete his myspace or delete her, he finds her and re adds her! I am so pissed off.
Would you be mad if you seen your husband write a girl saying I miss you??? A girl he has been chatting it up with for a few months now? Should I just let it go? He says it is just being nice... to the same girl?????
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today is not such a good day for me and Jonny. Jonny was flipping out because he wanted to go outside at 9:00 this morning. It was too cold and I wanted to clean up my house somewhat before I took him to ride his new bike his Grandmother just bought yesterday. Dottie (mother in law) bought all 3 kids new bikes yesterday, they are really nice. I will have to take some pics of them when they get home. Anyway, Jonny was flipping out, throwing things, dumping his drink on the floor and couch (which is white), screaming, kicking and crying. Nothing can calm him down and I cannot just give into to him every time he wants something because than he will know that he can have a meltdown and get what he wants. I more or less punish myself for this but I have to do it, it is the right thing to do. He can't always get wha he wants all the time.
After I cleaned up I took him outside like he wanted since 9 am and took him on his bike. He didn't want that after 20 mins. He wanted to go on the swing. Ok let's go on the swingset and play. He started to get upset saying SpongeBob. I brought him in and he has been fine since than but it has only been an hour. It is hard to do anything when Joe is at school. I needed to make some candles today and I can't do tha until Jow gets home because every 5 minutes he wants somthing or is getting into something and I cannot walk away from boiling hot wax.
Sometimes I just feel like I cannot handle the meltdowns. I don't know what to do with them when he does it and he is very strong. It is very hard to calm him down when this occurs. I can't imagine notbeing ablw to talk to tell anyone wha i want or what I am thinking and etc... It sucks and it breaks my heart. Jonny can only say a few select words but can repeat what you say but it kills me when he wants something and I don't know what it is =(
Joe should be home by 1:00 I am hoping,I wanna take a nap. I have like the biggest headache in the world.
Hope you are all having a good Tuesday@
Monday, November 10, 2008
2:00 in the morning we are woken up from a nice dead sleep by our son Joey saying one of our car alarms are going off. We figured someone walked too close to one of the cars and it went off. Now mind you, there are 4 cars at my house now. Joe's truck, my car, m Dad's car and my mom's car. Usually my Dad's car is in the driveway for easy access with the wheelchair and Joe's truck is in the driveway. Well anyway, we went outside to see and it was Joe's truck. Here the back window was smashed in, glass on the seat and his wallet was still there, right in front of the eyes bu what was taken???? His sunglasses!! Yea his friggen sunglasses that are prescription anyway and he is blind as a bat without his glasses so whoever took them feels like an asshole. This person must have seen Joe wear these glasses and loved them so much that they had to break in the ruck and get them, little did they know they are prescribed, HA!
Joe is really upset. His truck was his Dad's truck when he was still alive and his Dad LOVED his truck. That was Joe's Dad's first truck he ever bought BRAND NEW and he was very proud of it and took GREAT care of it. The truck was given to Joe when Dad passed away so this truck has emotional meaning behind it. Joe feels like he is still with his Dad when he drives it so when this happened last night, it was not good.
I hate neighborhood kids!! This is the first time we ever had a problem since we moved here in April. We are always nice to the kids so they don't vandalize our house or anything. I am assuming it was a kid but than again, why would a school kid be out at 2 in the morning, than agin, there are alot of parents out there who don't care.
Today started out great! I ran out of black ink so I have to go do that today after I make some candles. Kids are off tomorrow for Veteran's Day so no candles tomorrow.
I hope today gets better...
Sunday, November 9, 2008
I AM A HORRIBLE MOTHER!!!!!
Well Joe's Mom (my mother in law and her sister) helped me clean it all up as we were chuckling about it because Jonny don't know right from wrong and it was kinda funny, LOL. My mother in law's sister said to me... What kind of Grandmother is your Mom that she didn't hear this going on and see what was happening or check on him. I was like oh no, she just did not say that! LOL
I swear to ya I never sleep when Jonny is awake, this is a first and I do have to admit that if this happened to Joe I would have flipped out on him but when Joe got home I told him gntly what happened. He was ok with it. He was not mad but he did say, ya know if I did this you would have flipped. He's right, I would have but here is another thing I was saying. What is the difference from me dozing for a few minutes and that is what it was, literally a few minutes than cleaning the rooms while he was down here watching SpongeBob or supposed to be watching SpongeBob? It could have happened when I was cleaning or hanging clothes. I do everything around here so I am exhausted and the candle business is popping so I am exhausted from home issues to a business. Exhausted mentally and physically but I seriously think there is something wrong with me. I could sleep for 12 hours straight and still feel like I never slept a wink. I am ALWAYS so tired and I drink alot of caffeine such as coffee and pepsi. Why am I so tired?
Anyway... that was my day today! I am a bad mother and now I am being ignored by my Mother because of this. Hmmm.... Everyone makes mistakes and it;s not like he was here alone although I do admit it was wrong, there were 2 grandparents here in the next room.
Hello everyone! I hope every one's weekend is going well. Mine is going good but today is still Sunday, early, LOL.
Yesterday I had a small party for all 3 kids combined. Jonny's b-day was in May, Alyssa's was in Sept and Joey's was Oct. Well right before Jonny's b-day that is when my bathroom ruptured from he ceiling and than Joe got laid off so this was the first opportunity I could throw them a small but nice party. It turned out very nice. I got 7 pizza's, 4 plain and 3 pepperoni, bottles, soda, chips with dips and etc... The kids had a blast. Jonathon got an outfit and $30, Joey got a gift card for $10.00 and $50 cash and what Alyssa got, I have no idea. She wanted these boots from the mall which were $20.00 but I asked her does she want te makeup or the boots. She said the makup since she has none. I should have went with the boots, the makeup was expensive,LOL.
The party was at 4:00 and mostly everyone was gone by 7:00. After I cleaned up with some help, I took the boys to my cousin's house (not Jonny) and than went to the bird store called Bird Paradise. My mother in law wanted a new BIGGER cage since our cages we have now are tiny and our poor birds have no room to move. So we got new cages, I'll have to post pics later when I set it up. It is really nice but every time I am in there I want a baby McCaw, they are so sweet and loving but than again I have a cockateil and she is awesome, She just hops on my shoulder and walks around with me and she will do it forever.
So now I have a new cage! YAY!!!
I have another candle party demo December 5th. Joe's 2nd cousin's wife is having it at her house. ia ms ooo stoked!!! Everyone's feedback on the candles are great so I guess I did well, LOL.
I have to make candles today and get these orders outta here because my nail salaon wants me to bring her in 8 16 oz candles and 8 12 oz candles for the store, which I know will sell because she is always so busy!
Ok... I have to go check Myspace and check something out with the websites, LOL
Hope you are all well =)
Friday, November 7, 2008
Anyway since I am here. Can someone please tell me where to go for a website where I can have my own domain like www.scent-trecandles,com or something, where I can have links fir scents, colors, sesaonal candles, photos and etc... I also need paypal on it with UPS delivery. How do I do this. Where do I go for this?A friend of mine said she would do my site for me and I was going to pay her $100.00 to do it with 3 free candles, LOL.
Anyone know how to do this, do a website, graphics, HTML codes, links and such? Want a $100 and free candles for doing this for me? LOL
Love you guys
Monday, November 3, 2008
1. My family means more to me than anything in the world but yet I still feel like I am not the greatest of Mom's around. I feel like I have to do more for them or something. The love for them is unique, like nothing I have ever felt before in my life.
2. My husband and I are complete opposites. I mean from drinks to food. I like Pepsi, he likes Mountain Dew, I love candy, he hates it, I hate death medal music, he loves it. The list can go on and on.
3. My favorite color is black and technically it is not a color but it is for now =)
4. I HATE shoes. I am serious. I despise shoes!! I refuse to buy shoes for me. I will go to my best friend's house and take her daughter's shoes before I buy them! I am a barefoot person.
5. People say to me I am too skinny. I HATE that! Skinny is such an awful word. I am THIN, not skinny. Skinny is like all bones and nothing else. I have meat, just not alot and now the meat is going to where I wanted it to go for a long time now, my boobs!!!!
6. I am a very cocky person and I love to argue with people, even if I am wrong, but I will laugh at it though to let the other person know I am kidding. I love to laugh!
Well there are my 6 things about me. Brandi already tagged everyone so there is noone I can tag!
This weekend is the kids b-day party for all 3. Nothing big, ordering pizza, chips and etc... Not alot of people but just enough to have the kids happy. I am not sure how Jonny will react to it, I am sure he will be ok since he knows everyone that will be here anyway and it is supposed to be nice Saturday so maybe the kids can go outside and play or something.
Tomorrow the kids have off, I have some candles to make, not alot, only 3 but than on Wed when my scents come in, I have a few more to make of the new scents and I am lookimg forward to the lavender one and the lemongrass which is Yankee type.
It's now 8:30, Jonny is sleeping so I am going to play my game for awhile and go to bed since tomorrow will be a long day with all he kids home =( I think it is RIDICULOUS that the kids have off for Election Day, they can't vote anyway and people can vote when they get outta work!!
O.. I said enough for the night. Se you all later and hope everyone is doing well =)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Saw V was good last night. It was an expecting thing I never thought would be so my whole reaction to the movie was... OH MY GOD! There was hardly any blood, guts or gore in it this time.
Do you know how much it costs to see a movie now? $10.25... Yes you heard right $10.25 a ticket. And than to boot, a SMALL soda is $4.50. Holy good lord! I am so glad I had a candle order or I would not have been able to go at all. Nae and I ate some chineese before the movie at the mall and that was $10.00 for me. She was just like.. Oh my god Theresa, I can't believe you ate all that! I said, I told you I eat like a pig, LOL.
So anyway, today is candles, wash out the wazoo, cleaning and getting ready for school for tomorrow. They have off Tuesday for Election day. YAY fro us parents!
Well it was nice to get out of the house for awhile anyway. I could not tell you the last time I was out of the house besides the food store runs.
I need to quit smoking, like seriously. I just can't do it cold turkey, I am moody enough as it is. The medication to help you quit is not covered by my insurance so it costs $115 a month. I think if Nae's Dad can quit on it than so can I. He did it for 6 weeks and it has been almost a year now since he quit and has no cravings or anything for it. He tells us now that we smells like cigarettes and we need to quit, LOL.
Ok... so I need to sart the wash now. Get back with you all later =)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
So that was that. I came home and gave an order to a customer... damn that sounds funny, LOL.
The kids got home from school and we got ready for Trick Or Treating. We had a blast and ofcourse Jonny did NOT like the makeup on Alyssa or Joey. He was deathly afraid to go near them and stayed in the other room. He jad a bad day in school that I decided to let him go, I can't hibernate him from everything. He had a meltdown in school because of the costumes so the teacher took him in the gym to play while the parade was going on.
Here's the pics of he kids. Jonny's pics look weird because he was holding his cd in front of his face but it was still so cute not to share. Alyssa was Linda Blair (The Exorcist) and Joey was a demon, LOL.
Hope you all had a terrific Halloweeen, we had a blast and loads of kit kats, YUMMY!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I AM STILL GOING TO USE TO THIS FOR PERSONAL ISSUES AND LIFE BUT THE OTHER ONE IS CANDLES ONLY =)
JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I DID!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I need some games idea here for the party to make it fun and not so bla and scenty, LOL. Come on guys, I know you guys can come up with some ideas for me, I never did this before so this is my first experience doing a demo myself and I never really went to them before because I was always broke and I hate to go to parties with no money =(
GIVE ME SOME IDEAS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I went with my Mother in law to her settlement of her other house. It seemed like it took forever to get through. I still have mail going there because I actually forgot to do the change of address to my address here so I spoke to the new owner and he told me to come and get my mail whenever I want, it is ok. I have to go tomorrow to change the address though.
Halloween is Friday and I have yet to get the kids their costumes. Alyssa wants to be the Exorcist which is basically a white night gown with horror makeup on. Joey wants to be a devil which is a black cape and devil horns. Hope I can find this crap tomorrow. I am just not into Halloween this year, I don't know why. Jonny don't do Halloween at all. I have to keep him home on Friday from school because the costumes will flip him out.
Today was a very bad day for me. I don't know why but everything seemed to be going wrong or it is was just hectic as hell. I can pretty much guarantee that my Dr. is going to up my Klonopin or something because I am still a bitch for no reason. I mean I know why, happiness is just not there and there is so much going on at one time it is crazy.
Jonny has been having meltdowns like crazy in school and when he gets home is weirded out. He don't have meltdowns but he is wired and wants this and that and 1/2 the time I don't understand what the hell he is saying and than he gets frustrated and than I get frustrated and around a circle we go.
I am just about set for the candle party, I just have to think of some fun games to do at the party. I know I am going to have everyone put a number in a hat and whatever number I pull out wins the Down Syndrome candle. I also have a game where the candle gets passed around until the timer stops, when he timer stops on that person, they get a free candle of their choice of a candle that is there or I will make it for them after the party. I am pretty excited but nervous at the same time ya know. I need to think of fun things to do at this party. HELP ME OUT!!!!!!!!
Ok.. I am off for now. I think I am going to be early tonight so I can wake up tomorrow in a better mood o go shopping for costumes.
Love you guys!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I went to Nae's house yesterday for her daughter's surprise b-day parry! I just missed Julie walking in the door by seconds. Damn it! I had called Vernae earlier that day to ask her if Julie sill played with baby dolls cause I seen this baby on sale for $40 and I had to get it. She did so I stopped on the way to her house and got the baby, the bag and a card and a bag of candy corn for her, lol. It was a nice party, the ice ream cake was really nice and it was good. Pizza was good too.
As I was at the party I was talking to Nae's Mom's best friend about the candles and showing her the Halloween kind I made Nae and a wickless one I made her. I put her on my site so she could see some of the pics and the scents I have. She ordered 2 16 oz candles and 2 5 oz candles I normally don't seel, they are fiven for free with teh 26 oz candles but I charged her $5.oo for 2 of them, so there is $40 for me, YAY! I am making them today so I will take pics later and show ya. I am also going to make other candles for the candle party as well too. I need to start these Down Syndrome candles, they take 4 hours to do and I need 8 of them now. HOLY YIKES!!!!! It's it for a good cause I and I feel good about myself that I am giving 25% away to that foundation for support for the children and adults who needs special things done.
So today is candle making day again. It is gorgeous out so I am hoping by at least 1:00 I can open my windows and get some fresh air. It has been freezing here lately but than again, anything under 75 degree to me is COLD as hell, LOL.
Pictures later to come!
Hope u are all doing well!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I went to the Dr's yesterday. My medications I was on was 1/2 mg of Klonopin 3 times a day, morning, afternoon and bedtime, 50 mg Remron at bedtime and 50 mg of Seraquil at bedtime. Well I was blowing up on everything going on and telling him I sleep well but during the day I feel like a raging freaking lunatic he up'd my medications to 1 mg of Klonopin 2 times a day, one in the morning and one at night, 50 mg of Remron and 100 mg of Seraquil. I took it last night and let me tell you, I was like high going to bed and I don't even remember hitting the pillow.
You know what I want that is virtually impossible. A HAPPY pill. I want to laugh again, I want to smile all day long and I want nothing to bother me anymore. I want to feel like I am high on life. I want to be at the store and I want people to say Oh my gosh look at her pretty smile and look how happy she is. I haven't been this way sine I can't tell you when.
Jonny is not doing good in school. His meltdowns are getting worst and worst. They are lasting longer now. In school noting can calm him down now and it is like 2 hours of meltdowns. I wish they would call me so I can go up there to help him but like they said, Mommy can't always be available to be there and he had to learn how to calm himself down. WHAT!!!!!!!!! You have Autism and cannot communicate and cannot talk or say what is bothering you or if you are not feeling well and can't say it, tell me how would you react?!?!?!? I get so angry!!!!
I feel so angry inside. I told the Dr I feel very angry and alone. I am married but yet I am alone. I have no one to tell my feelings to but the Dr who can side with me on saying it is Ok Theresa, what you are feeling is ok. I want to cry so bad but it won't come out. I want to Crochet a blanket but I don't want. Make sense? During the day when the kids get off to school I clean the house and play my game for a bit, make some candles and than I take a nap for awhile until the kids get home. I feel like sleeping my life away. Sleeping is the escape from reality I think. I don't wanna kill myself but I just feel bla all the time and I am sick of it to be honest with you. It's like nothing makes me happy anymore. Why do I feel like this? How can I stop from feeling like his? The Dr said give the medications some time to kick in and see what happens next month when I see him again. I feel like an asshole honestly for feeling like this. Things I want to make me happy I can't have which depresses me even more. It totally sucks.
Ok now that I have vented my feelings for now, this weekend is going to suck like usual. Vernae has a surprise b-day parry for her daughter tomorrow at 1:00 so I am going there but in the A.M. Joe as to help his brother move some shit out of the house. Than on Sunday ofcourse like ever freaking weekend I am stuck with the kids to do nothing. I have no money to even take them to McDonald's playland or something but than again Jonny can't be there anyway, he hates the loud noises from the kids and the games and so... who knows what I am going to do on Sunday. I can't make candles with Joe gone, Jonny is a handful and needs something like every 2 minutes and I cannot leave what I am doing with candles ya know. Maybe I will take the kids to the park and feed the ducks, Jonny was scared the 2st time I took him but the 2nd time I took him he just sat there and rocked saying "duck" "duck" "duck" so maybe I will do that if it is not that cold out. I can't stand the cold weather, it literally hurts my knees so bad that I could cry. Believe it or not the Endometriosis has gone down my legs and into my knees and that is why they hurt all the time and at this time I still refuse to get surgery that will take 10 hours to do. Not after what happened before, I am not ready to die yet or take the chance like last time.
Life is so freakimg grand!